Five things Han Solo believed in (and one that proved them all wrong)
by OtterAndTerrier
Summary: [COMPLETE] What it says on the label. Han Solo-centric fic spanning the OT, ft. the most important people in his life.


**A/N:** This started as a response to a headcanon prompt about beliefs, and then it inspired me to write my take on the legendary "five (x) this character (x) and one that (x)" trope. Happy Hump Day! Comments and faves are love!

**23/01/2020** \- The tenses were all over the place, so I decided to update this piece.

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**I.**

He's not jaded; he's just lived. Seen stuff, heard stuff. Had stuff happen to him. Been to many corners of the galaxy, from ritzy casinos to the lowest hole-in-the-walls. Everywhere, some people struggle and some people take advantage, some assholes live and some good folk die… or worse. When you've lived enough, you see there's no bigger plan. There's no god, no all-powerful force or mystical energy behind anything that happens. How could it? If such a thing existed, why would they let awful things happen? No, it's people who control their own destiny, and sometimes the destiny of others. One thing is for sure: nobody controls where Han Solo goes.

**II.**

The truth is, rich people can afford to be idealists. Okay so, the princess lost everything _now_, but she got her ideals when she still had a family, money, a roof over her head, four meals a day, people who loved her, protected her, respected her. Han gets it. It's even kind of their duty to fight for justice, freedom, and all that shit for everyone. That's just fine. But he, and people like him, they got to eat. He's not in this for the revolution. He's certainly not in this for the princess who, feisty as she might be, is also ungrateful and rude for someone whose ass he just saved. He did it for the money, which by the way is what _he_ needs to save his own ass. And even if he didn't? He'd still look for number one.

**III.**

In matters of life and death, he prefers to be on the "life" side. That means he can't go risking his neck for people he doesn't even know, doesn't even care about. Is that so wrong? Ain't nobody looking after _him_—well, except for Chewie. Chewie now, Dewlanna then. Seems like only Wookiees ever cared about whether Han lived or died. His mother, too, but that was too long ago to count. Why does it make him a mercenary, to take care of himself? Somebody has to. People act like they're owed a rescue or something. And Han, fuck it, he always ends up giving in. Can't afford to throw away a potential reward, after all.

**IV.**

She likes him because he's a scoundrel, and she's probably spent most of her life being courted by well-mannered lords with too much perfume and too little passion. Oh, she soon proved him she isn't naive or inexperienced, but she's been busy and grieving for far too long. People respect her as a leader, but they're too careful around her sometimes. None of them offer her freedom. None of them challenge her. None of them shove their impropriety on her face. So she likes _him_ because he's new and wild and freeing, and she doesn't need to tie her fate down to his. He's making sure of that. That is all. And that's fine.

**V.**

He has everything under control. He has to throw out Jabba's spice, but he'll make it up to the Hutt. He has to take the trip to Alderaan and, after he gets stuck inside an Imperial superweapon, help get everyone out safely, even though he doesn't really give a shit about those people, but he'll get away with his hard-earned money in the end. He has to come back to help the kid take out the Death Star, but after that, no more distractions. He has to stay for three and a half years with the rebels, because he just knows they won't make it without him, knows he can use the money, knows Luke and Leia are too reckless to stay out of trouble, his debt and Jabba's anger piling up on him, but still, everything under control. He has to go out for Luke, has to come back for Leia, nearly dies both times and more—but he doesn't, because he knows what he's doing. He has to fly through an asteroid field. Has to crawl to an old friend-slash-enemy for help. Has to fall in love with a princess even though he has nothing to offer her. Everything is under control until it isn't—but that's not his fault.

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**VI.**

_Someone who loves you, _she says when she pulls him back from that thick, inescapable darkness and into her arms. As he trembles, retches and stumbles, as they take Leia away and lock him up and he finds out from Chewie that all their lives depend on the man who betrayed them and the friend who apparently calls himself a Jedi now, Han realizes he has nothing under control, and maybe some things have been his own fault. He doesn't like to know the odds, but he knows they're probably high against them_._

Somehow, they escape unharmed, killing Jabba and all his goons, and that's when it dawns on Han that all these people risked their lives for _him_. Turns out there's more than just Chewie who care about him now. Love him, even. Luke and Leia, they'd risk their lives for just about anyone, he knows. They're not like him, they fight because it's the right thing to do, not because there's a credit chip at the end line or an underdog to save. Han used to do what he had to, or almost, to survive, but look where that got him.

Still, that's not why they came back for him: in the great balance of things, he's just one person. If it was just selflessness and justice, they would have stuck with the Alliance instead of putting their necks on the line for him. No, they came because they care. Leia came because she loves him.

Han grudgingly accepts there might be some truth to the Force. They wouldn't be alive otherwise. It's not a comfortable thought to find himself powerless to the whims of a bigger cosmic force—but maybe that's just not what it means. Or maybe he doesn't care anymore_._ It's not like he could stop it. And anyway, just because things worked out this time doesn't mean his luck won't run out one day, or that people all over the galaxy aren't being screwed over by these mighty powers that be. But there's gotta be something that led him here, to the arms of the woman he loves, to the carbonite, to Cloud City, to Hoth, to Yavin IV, to the Death Star, to Chalmun's Cantina. To these fools who care about him against all odds. Something like fate pushing him in the right direction. He's risked his life for them many times, too, but he always kept a foot out, just in case.

That ends now. He's not leaving again. And if he's staying, he might as well fight to make sure they—and everyone else—get a galaxy worth living in. It's time to be a bit of an idealist again.


End file.
